Old McLaura had a Farm

RE: Spider Webs (If this link doesn't work for you, please let me know.)

I think I've spent my adult life searching for infinite time to do nothing. My goal in my weeks is time to do nothing. Yes, I realize how screwed up this is. I think it stems from the fact that growing up we have so much time for nothingness. Summer breaks, holidays, weekends, etc. for children are just excuses to run rampant or to sit on your bum and stare at the wall (which we know really means staring at the TV). We had no responsibilities, no jobs to be concerned about, no bills to pay. I held on to that for as long as I could. When I was in high school, I didn't get a job like other people, because I knew once I got out of school I would have a job for the rest of my life!

I miss running around barefoot, making up stupid games, playing practically from sun-up to way past sun-down, catching lightning bugs. I miss the freedom to run around and not have somebody needing to know where I was all the time (I was essentially a latch-key kid and had I been given the choice to do childhood over again, I wouldn't have it any other way.) I miss not being crucial to the operation of something, not having somebody needing to know what I know at any given hour of the day. 

As I sit in my windowless office (that by tomorrow will be switched to a gray cubicle) with disgusting fluorescent light beating down on me, 26 to 62 seems like a reallllllllllly loooooooooong time. Of course I knew long ago that it would - remember me not working in high school? I totally anticipated this feeling. I sit and think about jobs. What a weird concept! We were put on this earth to take care of the earth. In the beginning, people grew food and they hunted and they maintained the land that they lived on and that God created. These days we maintain the information that MAN has created. Think about that for a minute! All of the millions and billions of jobs there are in the world and the majority of them are merely keeping up with information that we have generated - shuffling it around and moving it from one place to another and protecting it from other people. Good grief! It's no wonder why people struggle to find the meaning of their existence and the purpose of their lives - all they do is keep up with the things of MAN. 

I guess this is why I find the thought of being a stay at home mom so appealing. It's like stepping back into another time - a simpler and seemingly slower time. Don't get me wrong - I know that maintaining a household is not an easy task but I also know that family and home are more important than maintaining information. I could bear with the hard work of family life with knowing that in its most simple form it is what God intended. Time to take care of a family, to raise children to appreciate what God has created, to see the earth in all its glory. 

Also in the past year or so, I've found the thought of having a farm increasingly appealing. I KNOW ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT HAVING A FARM. What I do know is that having my hands to the plow, so to speak, just seems right. Having a farm is also hard work and unpredictable and quite a struggle for most families, but I can almost guarantee that those families end each day with a feeling of accomplishment and purpose, satisfaction and joy, even in the midst of wondering how they'll make it through the winter (or whatever the worries might be.) I'm sure they have a better feeling than say I have about working on files, documents, and the internet all day!

I long to have a simpler life where things are not 0 to 60 in under 20 seconds, where I can sit on the porch and watch the sun go down, or walk down a country road without knowing I have to be somewhere in 30 minutes. 

God can bring purpose to what seems to be a purposeless life, but somehow I know that He will give me the desires of my heart. As ridiculous as it seems, we need people in this world to shuffle the information around, and there are actually people in the world that enjoy doing it. So someday I hope God sees fit to let them do what they enjoy doing and let me ride my tractor!  

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4