Just Don't Knock Me Off

A while back a friend had given me this scripture:

Psalm 27:14 " Wait on the Lord: Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord."

Then the next day, I was going to post a scripture on my computer at work just so His Word would be in front of me all day and encourage me. So I reached into this little booklet of cards that have scriptures on them, and what scripture do I pull out? Psalm 27:14

Of course I say to myself, "Lord, you must be telling me I'm in the waiting room?" I'll be honest - I hate the waiting room. I think we all do. Do do do, I'm waiting, I'm waiting, I'm waiting... The music in the waiting room is becoming obnoxious. It's not music, it's muzac. The magazines are lame... I'm not in the mood to look through Tech Geek, or whatever other drivel is laying around. Not to mention there are sickies in the waiting room. 


Ok so I pretend I'm not in the waiting room, and I forget to acknowledge that little scripture card for a very long time. Yesterday, I finally read Psalm 27:14 again, and I remembered the waiting room. At which point I think BOOOOO! But it reminded me of something that someone else told me a few months ago, "Laura, God put you on a shelf." What a devastating thing to hear! Doesn't that just sound like the biggest disapproval rating ever? God put me on a shelf. GOD PUT ME ON A SHELF! GOD PUT ME ON A SHELF? Yes, those are my exact thoughts. 

So then my self-appointed waiting room became my God-appointed shelf. I can't figure this shelf out. You end up in a waiting room when you've become sick from floating around out in the world, or when you need a check-up just to make sure that everything is in working order. But a shelf?! I see God handling me, looking me over, and then putting me up on a shelf... not one that's down low or at arm length but one over his head, up high. A shelf so high, that you can't tell that there's dust beginning to cover it. *ahem *Ahem *AHEM God, did you forget about me?? 


Now, don't get me wrong, I am aware that my walk is not perfect, that I do unreasonable things sometimes. But since when does God use the perfect and logical? I guess the good thing about being on the shelf is that God put me there, I didn't earn my spot there by being an idiot. At least I hope not anyway. He just stuck me there until He's ready to use me. But maybe his point is to knock me off, so that I'm completely shattered and so He can piece me back together. There I say, "Lord, we've done that before."


I'm blithering, but there you have it. At least I'm writing. Yet another entry for my Mike Birbiglia-esque "Secret Public Journal". 

Destiny and the Man on the $1 Bill

So I was watching "America: The Story of Us" last night on the History Channel. Very cool program, especially the episode about the American Revolution; now when it got to the pioneers and the Donner family, I had to stop watching. It went from "Yay, America!" to "Boo! Yuck! Cannibalism!" really quickly.

I gained a new respect for George Washington by watching the piece on the revolution and by listening to some things that my dad, the history buff, told me. Inevitably if you ask someone if they could meet anyone who is no longer living, that person will usually list George Washington as a prime candidate. Now I always thought that that was totally unimaginative and probably the only reason they listed him is because they see his face on dollar bills everyday. And frankly I always figured people never knew much about him to justify that response. Really I've never known enough about him to want to meet him. Of course I had great respect for him as a Founding Father and as the first President of the United States, but that was about it.

I now realize the divine hand that was over Washington's life. The character and wisdom that he possessed and the experiences that he went through positioned him and made him the best candidate for leading this brand new nation.

One story that my dad told me I believe occurred when we were still being ruled by the British and Washington was serving as a Colonel (at about age 27, mind you) in the army. He was the only person on horseback during a battle, which makes any person an excellent target, especially when that person is a commanding officer. Without regard to that however, Washington rode back and forth behind his troops to keep them together and to encourage them to hold the line. This of course helped to save their lives, but was without consideration of his own. He rode back and forth behind them the entire battle. When the battle was over, he had more bullet holes in his coat than could be counted. Wow! God had definite purpose for this man, preserved his life, and gave him the determination, wisdom, and courage to help save the life of his men!!

The second story my dad told me occurred during the Revolution in a battle with the British. Washington had rode out in front of his men and raised his sword to signal to fire to start the battle. At the same time Washington was doing this, the British commander was raising his sword as well. The colonial militia and the British army fired at the same time. Of course with the guns at this time, the field immediately filled with smoke. Meanwhile, Washington was still in between the armies! The colonial militia held their breath waiting to see if their commander was still alive. The smoked cleared and there still on his horse, unharmed, sat George Washington!

I'm sure there are stories and stories like that of Washington. There is no doubt in my mind that he was meant to be the first president of the United States of America. There was favor on his life!

Rut Writing

"Rut Writing" sounds like something Scooby Doo would say... (which I actually watched on Cartoon Network the other day because they were at Loch Ness! hahaha)


I'm calling this rut writing, because I have been in a rut, not merely prosaically but also spiritually. Go figure, right? So that's what's wrong with Laura! LOL. Inevitably when faced with the question of what I think I ought to be doing, the answer comes back resoundingly - WRITE. I need to be writing a book. I get ideas for books, for titles, for passages, and yet to put pen to paper, or rather fingers to keys, is a bit like 'pulling teeth,' as my mother would say. This has happened to me since I was young when I realized that I enjoyed writing - I start to write a story or a book and get to the end of the first page, and well, that's the end.


SO in an attempt to find the book inside ( <-- cheesy, huh? :), I am going to write myself out of a rut, or blog myself out of a rut. I am going to try to do this thing at least weekly to get the thoughts flowing and maybe eventually have something that could be somewhat considered a book.
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"The humblest praise most, while cranks & malcontents praise least. Praise almost seems to be inner health made audible." C.S. Lewis


C. S. Lewis was a genius. His thoughts never cease to amaze me because they are usually things that I've noticed but never paused on long enough to consider or to put into words. The above statement is no exception. 


I am a firm believer in the physical reflecting the inner. Case in point would be a messy and cluttered house being the reflection of a cluttered mind. Of course this is something my mom always taught me... Laura, your room is a reflection of what's going on in your mind. Sadly, many Christians live in a world of disorder, and yet our God is a god of order. 


To return to the quote at hand, I believe it is pretty safe to say that those who are 'cranks' (what a great word lol) and 'malcontents' are those who have not found satisfaction in their daily lives because their daily lives are run by themselves. *one finger pointed at you and three pointing back at myself. Humility is the ability to say, "Lord, I have no clue what I'm doing. I'm nothing in myself. I need you so much today that if you don't step in I will fall flat on my face." When you humble yourself to such a degree, the victory that blossoms from the day, becomes a rose of praise that you offer back to the Lord. 


My first thought on this though was not praise towards the Lord, but instead praise to others. Yes, we must humble ourselves before God and give him thanks for all He is and does, but also out of this will flow praise for others. It is the ability to recognize in other people God-given talents and abilities and to lift them up in appreciation when they set their hands to work. An ego-maniac (otherwise translated, a person who keeps their lives to themselves instead of surrendering to God) has no ability to appreciate/build-up/congratulate another person for a job well-done but rather will either tear someone down or build themselves up. 


When we find ourselves in jealousy and discouragement at the success of others, have we truly humbled ourselves before God? When we find ourselves unable to praise God, have we truly reflected on what He has done for us and in us? 


Need to do a spiritual 'house-cleaning'? Start with a little reflection on his goodness, mercy, and grace... a little praise does the body (and the mind) good!!