The Epic Battle

As this New Year rolls in, I find myself quite hopeful for the future. 2010 was a weird year, if not the crappiest I've ever had. But the beautiful thing about life is that no matter how crappy it seems to be, there are always plenty of blessings in the silver lining and plenty of simple things that make life worth living.

For me, one of the reasons 2010 was such a difficult year is that there was an epic battle being waged in my life. And of course as things go, this battle is not specific to me but is true of everyone. It just so happened that it was particularly evident to me this year.

Most people, particularly in the church, think that the epic battle of the world is that which will be fought in the valley of Megiddo. However, I think the truth of the matter is that the epic battle of the world is that which is fought in the heart and minds of men and women everyday. These battles are what make life so important - the battle between good and evil, between flesh and spirit, the battle of our souls that determine where we will spend our eternities.

On the personal side of things, my battle has raged this year and at times the best has not won. I became so burned out with the things of church, not necessarily God, but church. I longed to be like Christians who live a seemingly normal life that are not constantly involved in "the things of God." I know, I know shrieking ensues. But because of this burn out, I feel it absolutely necessary that Christians be totally transparent. We are kidding ourselves to think that we are perfectly holy and try to convey that image all of the time. God does not look at the image we project, He looks at our hearts. The images we project are for the "benefit" of others and frankly we are doing them a disservice by showing off our piety.

So I was ready to be a "fleshly" Christian. haha. Such a thing is a contradiction of terms, and yet how many people live this kind of existence everyday? Let me tell you it is hard life to live but totally doable. One of my favorite quotes is by Oswald Chambers: "If you have ever had the vision of God, you may try as you like to be satisfied on a lower level, but God will never let you." While your flesh desires to continue on in its way and while you let it win a few arguments, your spirit is crying out for truth and destiny. This is not an easy path to abandon. It is a path that can only be abandoned by some overwhelming support of the Holy Spirit.


While I have been on the "Road to Restoration", it has been slow going and my flesh has won a few. But in this New Year, I desire to walk again with the Lord like before. There was a time when He was ever on my mind, when there was a joy always in my heart even if I was in miserable circumstances. I wish for Him and His presence. I wish to be restored to my former glory that is only found in Him. 


I am not making a New Year's Resolution because that would doom me to failure, but I am hoping to reconnect with an old friend. 

Oswald Chambers, "My Utmost for His Highest"

VISION AND REALITY
"And the parched ground shall become a pool." Isaiah 35:7 We always have visions, before a thing is made real. When we realize that although the vision is real, it is not real in us, then is the time that Satan comes in with his temptations, and we are apt to say it is no use to go on. Instead of the vision becoming real, there has come the valley of humiliation. "Life is not as idle ore, But iron dug from central gloom, And batter'd by the shocks of doom To shape and use."God gives us the vision, then He takes us down to the valley to batter us into the shape of the vision, and it is in the valley that so many of us faint and give way. Every vision will be made real if we will have patience. Think of the enormous leisure of God! He is never in a hurry. We are always in such a frantic hurry. In the light of the glory of the vision we go forth to do things, but the vision is not real in us yet; and God has to take us into the valley, and put us through fires and floods to batter us into shape, until we get to the place where He can trust us with the veritable reality. Ever since we had the vision God has been at work, getting us into the shape of the ideal, and over and over again we escape from His hand and try to batter ourselves into our own shape. The vision is not a castle in the air, but a vision of what God wants you to be. Let Him put you on His wheel and whirl you as He likes, and as sure as God is God and you are you, you will turn out exactly in accordance with the vision. Don't lose heart in the process. If you have ever had the vision of God, you may try as you like to be satisfied on a lower level, but God will never let you.